The Big Squeeze

PE complained the other day that his dress superhero costume was too big and needed to be altered. Magnet Strip Girl raced into action and plopped PE on the scale to determine if he had actually lost weight or was having delusions of grandeur again. ("delusions of grandeur" is a common mental condition of aging superheroes.)

Lo and behold, PE HAD lost weight! 19 pounds to be exact, in the last 7 weeks. Magnet Strip Girl was at a loss(no pun intended) to explain this as PE's daily meal usually includes a generous portion from the french fry food group. (MSG has tried on several occasions to change this at least to mashed potatotes, but PE is resolute.)

Then, one night in the midst of a hot and heavy "go fish" card game, PE revealed his weight loss secret. He asked if Magnet Strip Girl had a vibrator. MSG was taken aback for a moment thinking 1)that is a personal question for a female superheroess, and 2)what on earth did PE have in mind to do with such a device? So she asked. PE responded that it would help him vibrate away the excess drooping six pack he has developed. (MSG wondered what home shopping network item Suzanne Somers was hawking and how PE had stumbled on that channel). PE went on to say that he has tried squeezing the excess, and that helps, but is not as efficacious as a vibrator.

MSG concluded that rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically is ALSO good for working those abs. Suzanne Somers, look out! MSG and PE are going on the road with this fascinating new weight loss regimen.